It’s late November and here I am sitting in front of my computer. It is so cold my hands hurt and I’m contemplating turning on my heater. Knowing Las Vegas, that would be a horrible idea, since locals know that the weather here has a mind of its own. It’s been a while since I have written in this blog and a lot has happened. I would like to say a lot of happy things have happened and some upsetting.
I have been teetering between a lot of places emotionally and also physically. At times I feel like I belong in one place, then I realize I am where I belong. But then I think to myself “maybe…just maybe I’m selling myself short”. In the world that we are living in, feelings are temporary, emotions are high, and searching for the unknown and starting over has now become a new thing.
But let’s talk about searching for the unknown for a second. How do we really know that what we are searching for is the right thing to do or the right move for us? Truth is, we really don’t know. The funny thing is, is when we start searching for the unknown or searching for something that we think is right, we find ourselves starting over again. And this is where the trouble can start; when this whole topic of starting over again comes up in any type of setting you come up with a few different answers. Most of the time the answers are often negative as the people around us see that starting over is a sign of failure. Where we…I am at or rather my current situation didn’t work out because it failed.
Is it really failure though? Am I really failing myself for starting over again? Or am I giving myself another chance to find myself again. I have given a lot of people, employers, random strangers, a whole lot of chances. Sometime even one to many times, but I value myself and my mental currency so much more than feeling miserable in a situation that can hurt me.
I am a firm believer that the grass is greener where you decide to water it, but as many times as I water it, the grass is still dry. I’m left with me feeling empty, alone, sad, and much more because I am putting myself through stupid situations that I know will never change. My sparkle has been lost for a very very long time. I lost my passion in all that I did because of the negative thought that starting over is a form of failure.
I wouldn’t think that someone starting over again is a bad thing. It’s a great thing! Starting over can mean you have outgrown something, or you found something a lot better because, and when it comes down to it, mentally it’s what is best for you. I would like to normalize that starting over is not a bad thing to do. A person who decides to start over again is trying to find a different view on life.
So, start over as many times as you want, but don’t stay in one place that makes you feel like you are worth less than you really are. To me all of you and everyone around me is so much more and you all deserve so much more than feeling unhappy. If that means you have to start again from go, then so be it. Just don’t stop searching for a new adventure, a new learning opportunity, or a new life. Keep going until you fall in love with where your beginning is going.
Until next time happy friends…
Always be kind to others, but most of all be kinder to yourself… Toodles~!