Let’s start over…

It’s late November and here I am sitting in front of my computer. It is so cold my hands hurt and I’m contemplating turning on my heater. Knowing Las Vegas, that would be a horrible idea, since locals know that the weather here has a mind of its own. It’s been a while since I have written in this blog and a lot has happened. I would like to say a lot of happy things have happened and some upsetting.

I have been teetering between a lot of places emotionally and also physically. At times I feel like I belong in one place, then I realize I am where I belong. But then I think to myself “maybe…just maybe I’m selling myself short”. In the world that we are living in, feelings are temporary, emotions are high, and searching for the unknown and starting over has now become a new thing.

But let’s talk about searching for the unknown for a second. How do we really know that what we are searching for is the right thing to do or the right move for us? Truth is, we really don’t know. The funny thing is, is when we start searching for the unknown or searching for something that we think is right, we find ourselves starting over again. And this is where the trouble can start; when this whole topic of starting over again comes up in any type of setting you come up with a few different answers. Most of the time the answers are often negative as the people around us see that starting over is a sign of failure. Where we…I am at or rather my current situation didn’t work out because it failed.

Is it really failure though? Am I really failing myself for starting over again? Or am I giving myself another chance to find myself again. I have given a lot of people, employers, random strangers, a whole lot of chances. Sometime even one to many times, but I value myself and my mental currency so much more than feeling miserable in a situation that can hurt me.

I am a firm believer that the grass is greener where you decide to water it, but as many times as I water it, the grass is still dry. I’m left with me feeling empty, alone, sad, and much more because I am putting myself through stupid situations that I know will never change. My sparkle has been lost for a very very long time. I lost my passion in all that I did because of the negative thought that starting over is a form of failure.

I wouldn’t think that someone starting over again is a bad thing. It’s a great thing! Starting over can mean you have outgrown something, or you found something a lot better because, and when it comes down to it, mentally it’s what is best for you. I would like to normalize that starting over is not a bad thing to do. A person who decides to start over again is trying to find a different view on life.

So, start over as many times as you want, but don’t stay in one place that makes you feel like you are worth less than you really are. To me all of you and everyone around me is so much more and you all deserve so much more than feeling unhappy. If that means you have to start again from go, then so be it. Just don’t stop searching for a new adventure, a new learning opportunity, or a new life. Keep going until you fall in love with where your beginning is going.

Until next time happy friends…

Always be kind to others, but most of all be kinder to yourself… Toodles~!

Trust me…I’m an introvert

For someone who has a personality, I consider myself very introverted. If you know me personally, I do like going out, but that’s once in a blue moon. When I do paint the town red, it takes me a week or even two to recover.

I love staying home! I know how to keep busy and I know how to keep myself distracted. Yes, there are days when I want to go out and I do. But I never had a hard time just staying put in one space.

I found that doing things alone in a house full of people is actually very easy. It’s not that I have a schedule, but I just know how to keep my mind preoccupied without being on the internet or playing video games or watching movies.

Although these activities are really fun, you can only do that so many times without feeling a bit monotonous. Through times like this, everyone is feeling anxious, stressed out, and well… let’s be real… y’all are bored! Am I right or am I right? Yes, in all reality, this sucks. But if we don’t practice social distancing, we won’t be able to flatten the curve and mother earth won’t be able to heal itself. So stay indoors and only go out if you super-duper need to! So instead of reading false news and listening to some people’s negative vibes or playing the same video games or watching the same tv shows and movies, here are five other ways to keep your mind busy in doors. Continue reading


My my my… here we are at the very end of a very, very difficult year. I would have never thought I would end up where I am today if I didn’t take any chances. This year was very full of love, laughter, happiness, successes, courage, all of the good things. But to me, getting to that point was very challenging. To feel the laughter, I had to cry. To be happy, I needed to feel a sense of loneliness and sorrow. Just to feel any type of courage, I had to feel anxious and scared. Sometimes all the horrible emotions came all at once and I wouldn’t know what to do. I openly admit there were some moments where I wanted to just throw in the towel. I didn’t really know what I was doing; I didn’t know where to go. It was that sense of hopelessness and sadness that made me question who I really was and what I really wanted to do. What I didn’t know is that deep down inside, I did know who I was and surprisingly, I did know what to do. I just had to… figure it out and trust the process.

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